Self-Control

Homosexuality is not modern. It’s been around for a very long time. Some suggest that it is because of homosexuality that God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns. “Now the men of Sodom were wicked, great sinners against the Lord” (Genesis 13:13).

And the angels who did not stay within their own position of authority, but left their proper dwelling, [God] has kept in eternal chains under gloomy darkness until the judgment of the great day—just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire (Jude 6-7)

I know this is a volatile subject, but the only reason it is (in my opinion) is because people want to do what they want to do—and they don’t want to be told they’re wrong in wanting what they want.

·         Fat people don’t like hearing that they need to diet and exercise!

·         Lazy people don’t like hearing that they need to get off their butts and work!

·         Gossips don’t like hearing that they need to shut up!

·         Heterosexual fornicators don’t want to be told how they’re hurting people emotionally and that they need to stop “screwing around”—people continue living sexually unrestrained lives and will insist abortion is a right and don’t want to be told that murdering babies is horrific!

·         Adulterers don’t like hearing that they need to stop tearing up families and can’t marry the one they committed adultery with, thus legitimizing their behavior.

Yes, addictions are real, but too often people want to do what they know they shouldn’t because: THEY WANT TO DO IT!!!!!

Like Jeremiah’s day, the people didn’t know how to blush (Jeremiah 6:15; 8:12). This is one proof that people generally haven’t changed. In the book of Judges the conclusion is offered a few times that because there was no king, people did want they wanted no matter if it were well-pleasing to the Lord or not (Judges 17:6; 18:1; 19:1; 21:25). Their behavior made them happy, and that’s all that was needed.

The bottom line? We don’t like being told anything—which means we loathe authority. We’d rather go along the highways of life texting and drinking and speeding … and we’ll let anyone “have it” who’d actually try to stop us.

And … we don’t like self-control. We’d rather do what it is we want to do.

And THIS is the issue with regard to homosexuality. Immature thinkers don’t want to be told that they can’t do something: so they’re going to fight and scream until you leave them alone. And, yes, THIS is also the issue with regard to liars and gossips; baby murderers and whores.

Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth.
Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes.
But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment.

Ecclesiastes 11:9

I Will Live To Be 115

They say only the good die young. I am inclined to agree; therefore, I will live to be 115.

We met at camp. We were fourteen (born in the same year, but he was actually six months older, his 46th birthday would have been Sunday, February 9th). Looking back on it I don’t know how our friendship really began; it seems to have simply always been. We hit it off very quickly and were not merely fast friends, we were best friends.

Now this doesn’t mean we always got along; like brothers we sometimes fought, but unlike brothers we always forgave. I can honestly say this is one thing I have missed so much about him: quick and complete forgiveness. It’s not that nothing was remembered, it just wasn’t remembered well. I have enjoyed other friendships in life (I truly consider my wife of nearly 22 years my actual best friend ever). But it is important—at least I think it’s important—for a man to have another man as his best friend. And I miss that.

I know when he died a part of me (deep within) died too. I can’t explain it with words, I explain it best with the tears that flow freely from me eyes when I hear a song that reminds me of him, or just some silly something happens. There have only been a couple times when I literally tried calling him, realizing as I dialed that he could not answer.

I know he’d laugh at me for being such a slobbering dummy, but I would like to think he’d miss me if our places were reversed.

It’s not like we talked all the time; as friends we didn’t need to (we sometimes would go a couple months without one word being exchanged). But whenever we finally came around to calling or writing or talking face-to-face, we picked up where we left off. And he was always there for me, as I tried to be there for him.

It’s been a little more than four years, but sometimes it feels a lot longer, and sometimes it feels like it happened just yesterday: reminders of him are everywhere if I choose to stop and look. Pictures in my office, an original drawing, Diet Dew.

We don’t get over the tragic losses, we just try to get through them.

I am thankful he is a part of my life; yes, I miss him dearly; and yes, I gauge other friendships by the one he and I enjoyed. There is always the hope another unique relationship will present itself. And I imagine at times that—if and when we see one another again in heaven—he will ask me what took so long. And we will pick up right where we left off.

Truth Set Right

Sometimes I’ve heard people speak about Jesus that he turned the truth upside down. But quite honestly I think “truth” was already upside down, and Jesus came and turned it aright (Jn 8.32; 14.6), showing everyone what truth was all about; except most could not handle the truth (most of us prefer a version much more palatable to our own tastes). He “fixed” the broken truths people had come to know and accept.

For example, in what we call the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus addressed the Pharisees’ and scribes’ traditions against what God had commanded — “For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt 5.20).

In Matthew 5.21-48 Jesus speaks against their self-righteousness by addressing about different things the people had come to learn and accept that were not entirely true. Murder is wrong, but being angry without cause is the root to murder and is equally wrong. Adultery is wrong, but lusting after someone with the intent to commit sexual immorality is equally wrong. Yes, we are to love our neighbors, but we’re also to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect and love our enemies (Rom 5.6-8). And if we are honest with ourselves then we’d admit how difficult that really is.

The heart is the heart of the matter (Mk 7.21-23). “For with the heart a person believes” (Rom 10.10). 

Divine Coercion

The following is copyrighted material. It is written by Philip Yancey and I recently came across it in his book Grace Notes: Daily Readings With A Fellow Pilgrim (2009). The article is from the entry for February 7 (it’s an annual reader). After reading it I considered putting his thoughts into my own words, but I would rather share what he wrote because it is both thought-provoking and well-written. Quite honestly, I wouldn’t do well with it.

Sometimes I believe we are professionals first who happen to be Christians rather than Christians first who happen to be professionals. Along that line of thought I would recommend a book written by John Piper entitled Brothers, We Are Not Professionals.

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Sometimes I wonder how Jesus would have fared in this day of mass media and high-tech ministry. I can’t picture him worrying about the details of running a large organization. I can’t see him letting some makeup artist improve his looks before a TV appearance. And I have a hard time imagining the fund-raising letters Jesus might write.

Investigative reporters on television like to do exposés of evangelists who claim powers of supernatural healing with little evidence to back them up. In direct contrast, Jesus, who had manifest supernatural powers, tended to down-play them. Seven times in Mark’s gospel he told a healed person, “Tell no one!” When crowds pressed around him, he fled to solitude, or rowed across a lake.

We sometimes use the term “savior complex” to describe an unhealthy syndrome of obsession over solving others’ problems. Ironically, the true Savior seemed remarkably free from such a complex. He had no compulsion to convert the entire world in his lifetime or to cure people who were not ready to be cured.

I never sense Jesus twisting a person’s arms. Rather, he stated the consequences of a choice, then threw the decision back to the other party. For example, he once answered a wealthy man’s question with uncompromising words, then let him walk away. Mark pointedly adds this comment about the man who rejected Jesus’ advice, “Jesus looked at him and loved him.”

In short, Jesus showed an incredible respect for human freedom. Those of us in ministry need the kind of “Savior complex” that Jesus demonstrated. As Elton Trueblood has observed, the major symbols of invitation that Jesus used had a severe, even offensive quality: the yoke of burden, the cup of suffering, the towel of servanthood. “Take up your cross and follow me,” he said, in the least manipulative invitation that has ever been given.

Encouraging One Another

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 

not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, 

but encouraging one another, 

and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. 

Hebrews 10:24–25

No one has ever been honestly encouraged — by word or deed — and actually not liked it. We thrive on encouragement.

We all remember the man named Joseph whom the apostles called Barnabas which means son of encouragement (Acts 4:36). This is one of the highest compliments we find in the New Testament given to anyone. He must have been an extremely good encourager: not the back-slapping, car salesman type of encourager, but genuinely interested in others to provide for them what they needed.

When there was much discouragement from Jewish Christians in their trying to require of Gentile Christians circumcision, the apostles wrote a letter that “when they had read it, they rejoiced because of its encouragement” (Acts 15:31). The apostles didn’t threaten, they encouraged.

Now this doesn’t mean they never said anything that was not encouraging: consider Paul rebuking Peter to his face (Gal 2:11–18); and again, Paul dealing with the magician Elymas who was actively contradicting Paul’s preaching before the proconsul Sergius Paulus as the apostle, “filled with the Holy Spirit, looked intently at him and said, ‘You son of the devil, you enemy of all righteousness, full of all deceit and villainy, will you not stop making crooked the straight paths of the Lord?’” (Acts 13:9–10).

IN WORD

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Prov 25:11). As children we’ve all heard the stupid song, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” And we all know how false these words are because words can cut us all the way through. A friend of mine who served in the Army in World War II said he was amazed to watch his hardened foxhole buddies endure combat become blubbery babies the moment they would read a letter from home. Words have that power!

“Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Col 4:5–6).

Words serve as the windows into our soul (Luke 6:44–45). So, if we choose bitter language we’re revealing the bitterness in our souls. And if we speak that way, then how do we expect others who are not Christians to be interested at all in what we say we’re all about? The attitude sometimes conveyed is: “Oh, how I love Jesus, but I hate everybody else!” It’s the “little” things we call “words” that reveal so much (Matt 12:34–37).

As Paul put it, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph 4:31–32). Or as the Hebrews writer put it: “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (12:15).

IN DEED

What can we do to ease someone’s burden? Paul wrote, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:1–2). Again, “small” deeds may do so much for others: writing a note, providing a small gift, attending worship, and being courteous (1 Pet 3:8 NKJV).

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). To a degree, encouragement is what service is all about—as we strive to help others, helping ourselves, make the journey to heaven (Eph 4:11–16).

Commentaries

Sometimes we don't rely on a simple reading of the biblical text -- maybe because we don't trust we can understand on our own (consider the Ethiopian in Acts 8:30-31). We read a little from the word of God and then run off to a commentary to tell us what is said. 

Recent studies in Hebrews and the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5-7) have caused me to pause from running over to my office bookshelf (it's about two steps from my office chair) to see what is being said. 

I think sometimes I'm looking for an "accomplice" to tell me what I'm already thinking (!)

Worry Has Me Worried

I worry too much, and that, quite frankly, has me worried.

Yes, it's funny to say something like that, but in all seriousness, worry sometimes consumes me. I would defend myself by suggesting I have good reason to worry -- actually, I have five good reasons: my wife, and four daughters. And if I want to increase me worry quotient (WQ) I'd add our three cats. And this is just under our own roof -- not including our parents, siblings (and their families), etc., etc.

There are times when I play in the theater of my mind the strangest stories that directly affect my mood and general state of mind -- and they're all about bad things happening to my family.

The thing is, I can't control other people (I actually have a hard time controlling myself). The reason I mention this is to say that years ago I was going through a pretty rough clip; a friend of mine took my fishing to trap me into talking! Actually, it was therapeutic because this is the kind of thing he does professionally (not the fishing).

While out on the water we talked about a lot of things -- really, I talked about a lot of things and he asked questions to prompt me along the way. At one point he kindly, but frankly, said: "Jamey, there's so little we control. If you think about it, we're four feet from death at every car that comes by us on a two-lane road." Yep, that didn't help me either!

The long and short of it all is this: Looking back over the last 10 years I would not have chosen the specific path we've taken along life's road -- what I thought were "detours" were not: a detour is temporary, and some of the routes taken have had a much more permanent view. But you know what? Looking back over the last 10 years I would not change much of anything because of how all those things worked together (Romans 8:28-30).

It's not really accurate to say there are no guarantees in life; there are -- we are guaranteed days of happiness and and days of sadness. Both, of course, come to an end: and that's what makes up our lives. And then, one day, we will die. As Bertrand Russell put it so smartly, "There's an amazing statistic among men, that one out of every one dies."

Yes, death bothers me; and yes, I worry about it because of unknowns. But I like the story of the doctor on a visit who brought along his dog. Checking on the patient, he left the dog outside. The patient was suffering from cancer and expressed concern about what's "on the other side." Eventually, the dog interrupted the discussion because he was incessantly scratching at the door trying to get to his master, the doctor. And this is the point the doctor made: he didn't know exactly what was "on the other side," but he did know his Master was there waiting!