Discouragement

 Discouragement is real. And when we’re going through discouraging times, pep talks aren’t as welcome—but we need them anyway.

Sometimes we experience feelings of discouragement simply because our current circumstances are not ideal. Sometimes it’s because of real danger. Consider as an example, Queen Esther.

Esther was encouraged by her uncle Mordecai after he had received a report from her that she was afraid to go before the king unannounced—

Then Esther spoke to Hathach, and gave him a command for Mordecai: “All the king’s servants and the people of the king’s provinces know that any man or woman who goes into the inner court to the king, who has not been called, he has but one law: put all to death, except the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter, that he may live. Yet I myself have not been called to go in to the king these thirty days.”

So they told Mordecai Esther’s words. And Mordecai told them to answer Esther: “Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

For Esther, the danger did not vanish because of Mordecai’s encouragement, but she clearly grew in confidence enough to approach the king (see 4:16). And we know how that story developed. To this day, Jews recognize Esther’s courage as they celebrate Purim.

Another example is Elijah when he fled from Jezebel’s threats. His story amazes me because Elijah was valiant when dealing with the priests of Baal and King Ahab in 1 Kings 18. But then Queen Jezebel threatens Elihaj’s life, and he takes her threats to heart so much so that he is scared and he flees.

And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, also how he had executed all the prophets with the sword. Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.” And when he saw that, he arose and ran for his life, and went to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he prayed that he might die, and said, “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” (1 Kings 19:1–4)

God doesn’t allow Elijah to quit. God miraculously provided food for him (vv. 5–8). And then God asks Elijah, “What are you doing here?” (vv. 9, 13).

God then explains to Elijah what He wants for him to do. And He concludes, “Yet I have reserved 7,000 in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” (v. 18)

Elijah was unaware of the 7,000 faithful and this caused him to be discouraged. But God revealed to him that they were there and they were faithful just like Elijah—he was not alone, and God needed him to continue.

When we’re going through difficult days (Ecclesiastes 12:1–8), we need to remind ourselves of the continuing love and express promises of God. We need not focus unduly on ourselves, but on Christ

Looking unto Jesus, the pioneer and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. (Hebrews 12:2–3)

Today we don’t necessarily expect to get from God the revelations like Elijah did. But we need to know, to be reassured in our minds, that God seeks our success in Him:

But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him. Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:8–11)

But we ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers beloved by the Lord, because God chose you as the firstfruits to be saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth. To this he called you through our gospel, so that you may obtain the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Thessalonians 2:13–14)

Handling Disappointment

But that doesn't matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice (Philippians 1:18 NLT).

For us to experience disappointment we must first have an expectation. Sometimes our expectations are unclear, maybe even to ourselves. This realization may not help us feel a lot better, but we should at least consider the possibility of our unclear expectations being the reason why we are disappointed. Furthermore, it may also be that we are disappointed because of unrealistic expectations — more often about what we expect of or from others than ourselves.

The apostle Paul reminds us to “not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart” (Galatians 6:9). Paul probably understood disappointment and even discouragement — especially when it came from brethren — more than almost anyone, except maybe the Lord himself.

Paul also mentions “danger from false brothers” (2 Cor. 11:26). It’s one thing to have to undergo hardship because of those who do not love the Lord, but it’s quite another level of disappointment — and possibly despair — when hardship comes from false brothers.

It’s hard to imagine that there were brothers who wanted to make Paul’s imprisonment worse, but there were. Paul briefly addresses his situation, and brings up a rather idealistic turn:

And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear. Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. (Philippians 1:14–18).

Writing to his preaching protege, Timothy, the apostle Paul reminded him of the reasons why he suffered, and that Timothy’s expectation should very well be the same:

You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra — which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. (2 Timothy 3:10–13)

Timothy’s imprisonment can be inferred from the writer of Hebrews as he delivered the good news of Timothy’s release — “You should know that our brother Timothy has been released, with whom I shall see you if he comes soon” (Heb. 13:23). We know nothing about the details surrounding his being detained: whether it was to visit Paul (cf. 2 Tim. 4:11, 21) or for something else.

Getting back on point … We are going to suffer disappointment. Whether it comes from a coworker, neighbor, or friend; and, yes, it will feel worse when it comes from a brother or sister in Christ because we obviously expect better things from them.

So what can we do?

• We can begin by looking for spiritual stability and friendship with the Lord: He is the anchor of our souls (Heb. 6:13–20) and remains the same (Heb. 13:8–9).
• Prayer works (Luke 18:1 / Rom. 12:12 / 1 Thess. 5:17).
• We also need to remember that we, too, disappoint others — and we should give them the benefit of the doubt when we are disappointed by them because of God’s love for us all (Ecc. 7:21–22 / 1 Cor. 13:7 / 1 John 2:1–2, 4:19 / Rom. 3:23).
• We need to remember that God will judge, it’s not our place to exact revenge (Rom. 12:14, 17–21 / Heb. 10:30–31).
• Wait for the Lord (Psalm 27:13–14).