Perfekt Imperfektion

The older I get, the dumber I feel about nearly everything. Like King Saul, my self-assessment is pretty simple: "I have played the fool" (1 Sam. 26:21).

I actually hate myself because of how insecure I am.

I know that I'm not perfect, but there are days (or moments) that my imperfection is really known by all.

I wish better for my girls: thankfully, they have their mother to help them deal with life. I feel sorry for them sometimes that I'm there to undo what she's accomplished in them.

I am also very thankful for God's longsuffering (2 Pet. 3:15).

Too Much to Say

As a preacher I approach the pulpit with trepidation. There really is never a time that I am asked or expected to preach that I do not approach it with trepidation. It's not because I'm unprepared: it's because I know that I am not worthy to be preaching. It's not just that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). I have sinned, and do sin.

Yes, I ask forgiveness from God for the sins I have committed, but this still does not make me full worthy of preaching. As the apostle Paul put it, "For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe" (1 Cor. 1:21).

Nearly every Sunday morning I wake up tired because I don't sleep well the night before I preach. Gospel meeting weeks are especially tough because this cycle becomes the daily routine.

I am not complaining. I am stating what happens and why.

I am very thankful for the privilege afforded me by brothers and sisters in providing for me financially so that I can dedicate full time efforts into this important task. And I am thankful to God who created me with these abilities.

I pray today I use them to His name's honor and glory.